Tuesday, November 26, 2013 Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Ticket in the system: “Add these two images, link each picture to their appropriate links, then add this text under them.”

Support Guy/Wannabe Designer: There is this jquery function that you can add to the page that gives the page its own css code to do that.

Me: Or, you know, you could just fucking hyperlink the images instead of doing some bullshit.

Hashtag: This is why you are never going to be a designer.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

For some reason, without consulting us, our managers seem to think their designers know how to build mobile apps.

I’ll design a UI for someone, but as for build an app around it, HAHAHAHA

Friday, July 5, 2013

Photographer, who doesn’t know what she is doing, created a website for one of our clients. The site width is 1280px, design overall is not consistent,  and the grid is all over the place.

Naturally, we put it together as it is presented and the customer is complaining that they can’t view their site without scrolling along with numerous other problems that someone, as not a web designer, won’t realize are potential issues when creating a site.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Design has been assigned the support task of installing the new version of our mobile sites (not created by design) for our customers. It is a wizard (no way this could go wrong) in which you just plug in some colors and some pages and it should just work.

It doesn’t help that my boss is treating me like an idiot when I told him that I wanted someone to show me how to do it.

First off, the last time we did this, if you tried to override an already installed mobile site, the whole thing broke. I just want to make sure I do it right the first time.

Second, I am a visual learner. I have a hard time just being given written instructions and being told to do it. I need to see someone do it first so that I can then reference that when I’m going over the written instructions.

First thing support guy says to me when he comes in to show me how to do it: “We haven’t really tested this and last time I did one, it didn’t work correctly and broke the whole mobile site.”

You don’t say.

Friday, June 21, 2013
  • Co-worker: I think on the 3rd template I'm going to change it to 4 call-to-action buttons
  • Me: i think you should change it to one button
  • Me: and it just say "fuck you"
  • Co-worker: heh
  • Me: in small letters of course
  • Me: and then the part underneath says "click here to fuck off"
  • Co-worker: Somebody's feeling sassy this morning
  • Me: FRIDAY! :D
  • Co-worker: Oh right, it is Friday, isn't it?
Thursday, May 30, 2013

The following is an exchange on a site redesign request

Ticket is for a redesign put in by an activation manager. It includes the client’s info as well as their navigation and their call-to-action buttons.

Update #1: New guy in support gives ownership of the ticket to the client’s account manger.

Update #2: AC gives it back to NSG.

Update #3: AC comments on ticket “I cannot do this ticket.”

Update #4: NSG gives ticket back to AC

Update #5: NSG comments on ticket “Does this need to be approved first?”

Update #6: Ticket is given to me, who is not the lead, who is the person these tickets should go through first.

Update #7: I give the ticket to my lead.

This is why we can’t have nice things. New people aren’t supposed to be assigning tickets, the senior staff member on the support team is supposed to be doing this.

I am alerted that the new guy IS the senior because the actual senior staff member is out for the day.

The idiocy in this office has just reach critical mass.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

I’m running XP and CS3 on my work computer.

Because giving the three people who do your company’s design work up-to-date technology isn’t worth it when you could just buy another house and take ten vacations.

Sunday, April 28, 2013
  • Support Guy: where are the call to action psd for /Clients/T-Z/Winchester Restaurant/design12_files
  • Co-worker: template_calltoaction.psd
  • Co-worker: Come on man.
  • Support Guy: i'm in the support department, what you use day in and out is different than what i use day in and out
  • Support Guy: duh
  • Co-worker: Right... it has call to action in the file name
  • Support Guy: there is no standardization. sometimes there is calltoaction.psd, sometimes its something else, But i will check them all next time Thank you
  • BULLSHIT I have been working for this company less time than this guy and the file for the call to action has never been called anything else but calltoaction
Saturday, April 27, 2013

Guy who wants to move into design was given a template activation.

He installed the template and then stopped. He didn’t do any color changes, no logo/picture replacement, he did jack shit. He then sat on the ticket for over a month before handing it back to our department with the note that he didn’t have the time to complete the ticket.

I will straight up strangle him.